I'm happy to be home

even if I teared up when "Party in the USA" came on the radio because it made me think of my kids....

Reverse culture shock is an interesting thing. I slept till 11 yesterday, and woke at 5:45 today. My body is highly confused. I've felt small for the first time in months. I stare at people. I'm still surprised everytime I walk into a bathroom, and I pause before I stick my cup under the tap to fill it up. I got to re-learn what real butter tastes like, (something that a girl who went to college in Cache Valley should never forget.) I understand the lyrics to the songs on the radio, and I spent an exorbant 8 dollars on dinner last night (I felt ridiculous handing over that much money for a meal.) My hands are shriveling up because it is so dry. My bed feels like a cloud sent straight from heaven, and I can walk barefoot through my own house again.     
WEIRD.

I miss China.

But at the same time ---> this is really home. And I'm glad to be here.

11pm in Kaiyin

Bus leaves shortly after 4 am tomorrow morning.

Can't sleep. 

Tired. 

In an odd state of emotional detachment. Don't want to leave, can't wait to get on that plane... 

So much to say...

With so little time left in China I find myself thinking of about a million things that I should blog about. So I sit down at the computer, pray that I'll actually be able to get blogger up and working, and by the time it loads... I've realized I don't know where to begin. So I close the browser and go back to Christmas music and teasing Megan. 

Tonight though I've vowed to start. Let's work backwards... 

I recently vacated a freezing shower. This was only a slightly horrific experience, made somewhat better by the fact that it provides perfect poetic justice to our time in China, and is a nice touch in the war our apartment has decided to wage on us during our last week here. Between explosions in the kitchen, a broken water dispenser, getting locked in bathroom, and a near flood (to name a few mishaps,) cold water seems not so bad. Plus, for the entire first month I was here I was taking cold showers (that was before we learned how to change the batteries in our water heater.) So yes. I guess either the apartment is sad we're leaving, or is sick of us and is trying to get us out sooner.

Earlier this afternoon I dragged my packed suitcases over to the school so that I could make sure I'm not going to incur any over-weight baggage fees at the airport. Assuming the archaic scale we used is correct, I should be close to good. So keep your fingers crossed for me. There is something kinda neat about knowing that 4 months of your life can be neatly packed into two suitcases and a backpack. It's kinda weird to think that I'm leaving so soon.... 

...but on to happier thoughts. 

Yesterday we had our Christmas program at the school. There was dancing, singing, parents, costumes --- when Happy ABC's Kindergarten puts on a show, they do it all the way. Because we're the English teachers, we got to be the final dance number. It was a slightly intimidating experience... but I think we pulled it off well. We danced to "Frosty the Snowman" and had a marvelous time play-acting as little children who build a snowman and then dance around and play with him. We even threw paper snowballs at him at the end of our song. After the performance we ran upstairs to don some festive holiday-type costume things. There were a couple of Santas, a Frosty, and I ended up with a tree skirt tied around my neck as a cape. (A fact I hope you find as amusing as I did.) We were given bags of goodies and I got to wander around the school asking children to tell me what color my cape was in English and handing out legos and sweets.

Post party we ate hotpots with everyone at the school. Basically you sit down at a table with a bunch of people, and there is a pot of boiling water in the middle. You start with a soup base, and then add whatever you like. We had fish, beef, and all sorts of sausage and meatball-esque things to throw in, as well as vegetables and noodles and even wantons. You can add sauces to your own bowl, and grab whatever you like out of the hotpot. Dinner was divine -- if it weren't I wouldn't bother telling you about it. When the meal began to wind down they started a drawing for prizes. I wound up with a massive bag of tissues. Yes. You should be jealous. It was the 2nd best prize I could have won. Anna got even luckier --- with the largest prize they offered: laundry soap! We had so much fun, and it was good to laugh and enjoy the company of the people who we've come to care for so much. 

Megan and I were walking home this afternoon from some errands and I was marveling at how different I feel from the girl who came to China 4 months ago. Everything here was so alien then... but now it's home. A home that I'm going to miss terribly. I watched the taxi drivers and felt the stares and glanced into the myriad of shops, and it all felt so incredibly normal. I'm interested to see what the reverse culture shock will be like coming home. I'm afraid I'll have to watch my mouth --- I've gotten used to saying whatever I want whenever I want without regard to who is listening, for in China the chances that the person I'm taking about speaking English are slim. And even if they do speak English, I'm willing to bet big money that if I talk quickly enough and use slang terms, they still won't get what I'm saying. 

But enough of that. The past couple of days have been wonderful. Saying goodbye to my children was hard. Wednesday we had a party with out children --- sort of a goodbye thing. And at one point I found myself sitting on a kiddie chair, while being swarmed with little arms and little kisses and hearing these children that I adore so much say "I love you teacher. I miss you forever." And it melted my heart. I nearly cried. 

Oh golly I'm going to miss this place... 

Chinese Women Understand

I had a breakdown tonight. Actually I'm kind of in the middle of it... hence this post will be short.

This is the first emotional breakdown I've had while in China. An amazing feat considering the fact that I live with 6 other girls...

And so Anna dragged me downstairs to the corner store and started pulling chocolate off the shelves while I paced back and forth mumbling. After she has an armload we headed to the freezer. And started trying to decide which of the frozen treats would best suit our needs.

The lady at the cash register paused in the middle of ringing up a gentleman, came over, lifted up half of the bin and dug some pure chocolate cones out of the very bottom and offered them to us. We never would have known they were there without her help.

I love how we can't speak and yet she completely understands. And I'm grateful.

And then I realized....

That today was my last Sunday in China. We headed to Kaiyin for Church like normal --- and was very excited that the bus rides to and from were not freezing cold (the 2nd bus always has the air conditioning too high, a fact that was nice at one point, but since it's turned chilly here it isn't nice any longer).

And then this afternoon we hung out. I traced a whole bunch of tiny gingerbread men for class this week. You know --- exciting stuff was going on.

Then tonight I realized that I go home soon. And I began to wonder, and then I began to calculate. And I realized that I only have about 180 hours left in this country. This realization was partly depressing and partly exiting.

I'll let you know if I ever figure out which emotion was stronger...

Caroling to Chrysanthemums

Xiaolan is a city about a half hour bus ride North-ish of Guzhen. We head there occasionally to shop, visit the pagoda in the big park, visit some of the other teachers, and... well you get the general idea. We went there tonight for the Chrysanthemum festival. Sandy came with Anna, Emma, Megan and me, and we had a marvelous time. Especially when Anna suggested that we sing Bazooka Bubblegum (one of our students most recent favorites) while we wandered around the paths. Sandy was a sport and went along with our antics. And then after we had a marvelous time singing, doing the actions, and getting some odd stares while we were at it, we decided more singing was in order. 

Since it is, in fact, December. We opted for some nice Christmas carols. 

Caroling is one of, if not my favorite, Christmas tradition. And I found it splendid to be walking arm in arm with dear friends, marveling at the cascades of flowers everywhere as we bellowed 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' and 'Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer.' One of the joys of getting stared at constantly is that your inhibitions for a lot of things disappear. 

Sort of a "I already feel like a freak, might as well do something to deserve it" kind of mentality.

It's quite liberating :)

So yes. I started off December right. Caroling with friends. It was lovely, even if we are the only ones who understood what we were doing. 

Happy December everybody!